Cindy’s Blog

its true and im very happy and satisfied that she proved that if you do really work hard and put your heart into what you are doing, there is no excuse that you will fail to gain the fruits. Trully and purely that;s what you will get if you do sacrifice. What you thought you never will achieve is not a mission impossible anymore. Really I do believe in this world nothing is impossible. Even a nearly dead plant will gain 2nd phase life if there is some effort putting on it. Don’t just wait for miracle, eventhough they do real some miracle in this world, done by the Almighty one, yet human being have to work on their own strength to get what you aim, I believe God will rather help those who help theirselves. Giving up or just staying at the stage where you are will rather show you are dull, no vision and no way to improve. Don’t know why, improvement for me is just infinity. No one can say you are hopeless coz there is always a room for improvement, it’s just whether you want it or not. So, prepare yourself, be sure that the life is infinity and eternity will accept those of pure heart and do use their life meaningfully and totally no regret. Go for what you wish, who dare to say it’s impossible again?

im shocked..and bit surprise too. Dad say i have a sense of humour for forwarding the whole documents to him without editing..Maybe only he understand whether he is kidding me or,,, twist the sentence in other way to say me “dull”? whatever, what he say always affect my mood for the whole day and could lead me to a heart attack. Someday if he really didn’t give me anything to do, i will feel surprise also. Haha..Weird me. Maybe working under tension all the time makes me feel im existing and alive. I still got lot of things to do. In the future..all the way till the end of the time.

how can they do that?

Release the results one by one, makes me more in tension during this holidays..

Thought have to prepare myself before the 9th Dec, which is suppose to be the real date. Whatever it comes out earlier , much more than expected and the most irritating part is they don’t come out all in once..Torturing! That’s what i can think of now..

Bit disappointed especially the course that i thought surely can score A, my mentor’s subject. Maybe will get a lesson from her when get the result slip next time, haha.. Very ok already..

Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday!

Appetite ..

What comes to your mind when you came across this word?

For Usher, it’s maybe the hunger for ladies after getting married and the battle to win over the appetite..For me, appetite just simply the hunger for more.i.e. success, friends, challenge, surprise, etc..which shows im a normal human being, giving a lot of rooms for appetite to be filled up.. But isn’t that what life is all about? to feed the appetite to make you feel it’s worth for a battle and for you to struggle through the hard time just like the battle to survive in a terrorist attack. I never like to watch war kind of movies where people fight to survive from the darkness. Maybe it makes me feel like human being trying to against the nature or the fate that God had decide for them. Every action there is a reaction ( Newton’s 3rd Law). It applies not only on the laws of forces, but the life of a human as well. It’s always true for me that whenever something happened, there must be a reson from God why He let it happened. It might look bad for me but there no excuse for me to reject the things to happen, and sometimes i just don’t want to try to prevent if there is a way, seems like it really should happen so that it will bear fruits. Just when human lost their motive of living, losing the appetite for everything, don’t be scare. It doesn’t mean that there is no more reason for you to stay on earth. It may just be a transition period to train your appetite to taste something different, which totally what you have ever tasted before. When you might lose the appetite for food, it’s merely because you need to CHANGE. No more white rice with egg only. God created so much things in the world which you are allowed to eat. So, please turn your way, you may found new things, new roads, and new beginning. It’s not always you alone..Keep in mind, from the moment you step out from your mom’s womb, that’s the moment you have to start to learn to take up the inner self protect principle for you to keep growing. It’s never too late, just let it happens///remember the appetite to be fed.

Don’t think too much.. life is really no fun..Good luck to my stomach i mean. Today having my first paper on Material II (my mentor subject) which i care very much..Luckily its not a killing subject and i think not much problem in answering questions. Just, just sympathy on me..stomach which is not in a good condition starts to distracting me. Quckily finish up the paper, zoom go to the toilet!. Lucky not much obvious, others busy answering Q, no much ppl know i go out ( the officer of coz lar- Mr. Noor Hisyam)…

Get back to my seat, oh no..the feeling’s terrible, seems i cant stand in that air cond room at the moment. After not more than 10 mins, i passed up that paper and everyone might think that im so confident enough..haha, never mind. All i think is the stomach..Gosh, my weak stomach, sensitive and troublesome. Picky but looks tough outside, actually inside easy to be defeated by enemy..Seems much pretty like me - coz it’s my stomach, of coz its similar to me..All i pray is for good health and mentally clear when sitting for any paper so i just can perform the best for myself with no regret in the future..

Fun?Not at all, so everyone please take good care of your health. No matter how smart are you or how hard have you prepare for the things, in the critical moment if you not able to present the best of yourself, all the works goes to vain. Seems i learn a big big lesson here, still good as able to finish answering all the question. Math III the paper tommorrow, for 3 hours, hope stomach be good girl too, just let me end everythg, after that i dun care!

weird…

sometimes feel its time to leave the world, preparing myself for sudden leave, maybe its fate, or really the time come. Now i counted and realise i have escape from death twice. Does it really escape or just actually my time is up but God think i have not perform well enough so let me stay a little bit longer? That two times of cheated death nothing in similar with the feeling at this moment.

Is that i am ready to leave the world? Or nothing else i want to do in the world anymore like they say no more mission to be accomplish?? But im still a student, not yet facing the working world and building my own career which is my only motive of study..why this kind of thinking came across mind, let me forget and give up everything i have been trying to bulding so hard and determined to have before this?!Weird..

Sounds whisper in the heart..Are you going? Why i am still hesitating? Always feel if that is the right time, then just go..But who knows whether that is the right time? And either going to Heaven or Hell, which is totally different besides both are “H’ destination. My friend insist that doing evil things will go to hell. Then, how to measure how much evil things that you have done compare to the good things that you have done?

But God dont care the amount is balance or not. A story to share of a prostitute. For she’s been in that field for so long, everyone say she will certainly go down to hell when she dies. However, when she dies, people saw her sitting at the right hand side of Jesus. Everyone keep on asking and judging the way God decides one’s destination after death. Jesus replied,

” One day a beggar who is starving for more than 3 days came across a prostitute. Before the beggar requesting anything from that prostitute, she directly gave him bread and milk without lefting any for herself. She saves a life of my Father’s Creation. She have the beautiful heart which none of you here have”

Regardless how badly have you perform, you yet to enter the door of Hell if your heart is not rotten. The Way to heaven is always open and welcome those who really want to stay in the home of the Lord..

Being addicted is never a good thing.. so whenever you are intersted in something, please set your boundary or limit before hand on or you will regret it later..Same, human, games, musics, foods, anything will cause addiction. When u start to get on the track, hardly you be able to plug out yourself from being drowning in the sea of addiction, until you have no mood to study, no temptation to start to study or do other things..

Maybe it’s a way of devotion, perhaps for some activity such as a music producer who can survive in his own music world when creating the next rocking creation in the music arena. Devotion is good but when not able to differentiate between devotion and addiction, maybe you have to sacrrfice things:- family, friends, even your own life..Sounds scary, but once it is your cup of tea, nothing else seems more important than to that..Yup, should be scary for me, especially trying to pull back my hands, not to continue this meaningless action when im battling with exam weeks. Stupid and what a time waste, seems gone away, but i didn’t struggle ‘coz im already addicted..

Friends, the advice is not to put too much of your feeling, your heart in anything you do, just to play on the safe side so in the end you won’t hurt so bad, or lose everything you own in the beginning.

You will never change if you just run away…(The Voice Within-Christina A.)

specially dedicated to my friend (you know who i mean)..

Mayb changes just too hard to hold, just to hard to take along through ur life. But, all you want may just a routine, rather than face much or uncertainties, pressures and falls..All you think was a stability, and peace..time wait for no man, and now world wait for no man also. There is no way of chasing back what in the past, n its stricly wrong for staying in the past, not accepting reality..What has past will be in memory, but the days ahead might not be the same, peace may no longer exist if u keep on runaway from facing the world. In this cruel and realistic world, being ‘never mind’ attitude will not keep u on the stage of the world. You will be the one who need to survive, for the sake of yourself and family.

Its true for no one in the world you be able to trust as everyone is selfish and fight for living (no exception for you and me). Regardless how much you have give out, there is no more balance and fair, you wont get everything back in the end..maybe not the same, but sure and promise you will learn something from changes. No longer a dull and meaningless life, but full of lesson to learn. Yes, the long- term learning might just end any moment when its time, but just don’t waste it. Keep chasing for changes..its unforgetable..

it might look stupid, or nonsense. Why do always care what people will thk?What if this, what if that? all the Questions try to block my way to make a conclusion..but is that what people say, have to think of the consequences on everything that you decide to do? Coz the results may not be what you predict before but always not what you not imagine before.. i always try to imagine the worst scene that will happen so in the end, all those pictures will remain as an imagination, never happen. It works most of the time,,i remeber last time i do imagine myself getting the lowest marks in the class, as i knew i had performed badly, really badly in that test. However, things seem like to turn out to positive side and im quite happy with my tricks to think badly at the first place..gosh, what if that really happen, no tears able to come out and i might end up in the 7th Mile. Haha..

The whole semester, eventhough getting harder and burdened, somehow somthing i really do learn is human relation. From the very first semester in the first year, when things simple and in the class everyonewho are strangers at first, now turn out to be the best fren ever, this semester, human relation getting complex and and even in a class of 40smtg ppl can be divided into more than 10groups of ppl..Evil, selfish, taking advantages, etc..all those horrible working environment start to take place in a learning centre. Somehow when can’t stand why and what happen to generation nowadays, i try to understand that im a part of them too and the anser should be no choice..You might not want to be the bad person, but the people surround you will try to force you into the dungeon and you turn out to be part of them.Yes, dad’s advice come into my head that the world is cruel, if you are not improving, you will be the loser. Indeed the small me who turn big now agree totally the sentence..being a loser is not an option so, why don’t fight for a win?